He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
