Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
