Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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