I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
