Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
