She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
