College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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