i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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