well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
