A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
a search helicopter?!
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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