Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
