hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
