First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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