The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
