quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
