Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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