I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
