whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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