She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
