Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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