FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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