She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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