ya dads aren't the best wingmen
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
