Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
