i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
