How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
