Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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