people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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