i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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