My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
