I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
