is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
