It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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