White coat. Heels.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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