Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
