she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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