this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
