She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
