is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
