She's JV to your varsity
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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