i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
