Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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