my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
