How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
