discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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