is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just gargled with NyQuil
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
