Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
