I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
