Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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