Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
