I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
